Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
As the Mad Hatter told Alice:
You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness.”
It's better than it was 9 months ago, it's so much better. But I really used to be, or at least feel, much more "muchier." All of the best laid plans, and research, and education, and trying and failing and praying and losing and waiting for a baby; and all the love that I have in my heart for the most precious of souls who did finally arrive, were and are no contest for the fog of postpartum depression and anxiety. It's the pebble in my shoe as I move through the embarrassment of riches I am lucky enough to call my life. But it is getting better.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Alex Gately turned 6 mos last week. I mean...Can you believe it? I cannot believe it.
He's crawling. He's pulling himself up in the crib. He babbles constantly. He belly laughs. He likes all food but seems partial to sweet potatoes. He laughs at the site of the dog. His favorite toy is his hair brush and his number one goal in life is to get his hands on our electronics. He's so handsome. I know I'm biased because I'm his mama...but...for serious...look at that face!
Also he's rude! (Note the finger..)
He's really really busy. There is no sitting still or calmly cuddling on the couch these days.
Sometimes he helps me work by climbing and drooling all over me while I lay on the floor.
He wears big boy pajamas (those are size 12-18mos folks), and sleeps with his little rear end in the air and it kills me every time. Also he sometimes sleeps in really weird big kid type positions. What is happening here?
Watching he and his dad together thrills me to no end. Peas in a pod those two.
And well...Being his mama is one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
In the Fancy Pants household we've come to a decision: We will move. It's time. We've outgrown this place. This is a big huge deal to me. I'm attached to this house. I bought it by myself 7 years ago. I was 24 and I'm really proud of that. In a lot of ways, I grew up in this house. In Truman Capote's "The Grass Harp", there is a lovely quote about a home:
"If you sweep a house, and tend its fires and fill its stove, and there is love in you all the years you are doing this, then you and that house are married, that house is yours."
This really resonates with me. By the time we move, I will have lived in this house longer than any other home I have known. I know it's noises, it's faults, it's strengths.
So in that spirit, I thought I would return from my hiatus on a positive note and say, if you know someone who would like to buy a piece of my very heart...
Pssst....Remember THIS Terrible Kitchen??
Friday, March 15, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
I'm still alive. Mostly. Alex Gately is 4mos old this week. Yesterday, actually. The past 4 months have been simultaneously the fastest and slowest months of our entire lives, the husband and I.
And in the two months since I last posted? Well, I mean, a lifetime has passed. What has been going on you wonder? How many diapers is she really changing everyday? How many frozen Amy's meals exactly HAVE I eaten since November 12th??
Well, I'm back at work and back in class and busy learning how to parent and care for his lordship and being frustrated about the balance of things and generally acting like an asshole to my husband as I whine and complain like I'm the only new mom to have ever tried to balance work and family and marriage and self in the history of time.
Here is a jumbled and lengthy recap of the hot mess that is our life the past two months (Imagine singing this to the tune of camptown races maybe??):
Alex turned 3 months and then 4. I started class again. I went back to work. He started rolling over first to his back and then to his stomach. He got sick. Then he got sicker. We spent a week marching in and out of urgent care and then starting every day with a screaming baby and the nebulizer machine. Then he got better and suddenly he got sick again. RSV is a bitch, folks. I quit breastfeeding and still feel like a chump. Things got complicated with my husbands job. In good ways and bad. We started house hunting. We made an offer and lost a house. We went to Florida for a bit of a family reunion. Alex did awesome on the flight. He melted down in an epic way as we drove off in a rental car. Administered breathing treatment in a Chili's parking lot outside of Orlando. Took our first family photos...ever...in 4 months of his life. Flew home on another successful flight. Endured second epic car ride meltdown. Then we lost a loved one and left town again in a hurry. Then we started having child care issues. Then I lost my temper with my understanding husband for the millionth time since November and I'm still a little embarrassed about it. We started FINALLY the process for our home renovation. We decided to put our house on the market. Then because we're idiots we started sleep/crib training in the middle of all this. It was going ok. Then last night instead of sleeping, Alex just....didn't. So nobody did. I called in reinforcements. Grandma is on her way.
Do I sound negative? Ungrateful? Forgive me, that pot of formula I made this morning just didn't have the same oompf as my usual pot of coffee.
Don't worry though. In the middle of this massive pity party I promise there have been some good laughs and sweet moments. I think I might have Stockholm Syndrome. Must go. My tiny captor beckons.